I was a Girl Gamer

I was the only girl consistently participating in a large gaming group where several core members had self images and values like 17th century swashbucklers. 

They were known to threaten people who talked at me the wrong way, a bit like a scene in The Crying Game where Fergus says "How would you like to be picking your teeth up off the ground with broken fingers?" 

One member was especially influential within the group and especially protective of me. This individual was man who exclusively played female characters.

It's possible I knew a MTF trans individual long before I had words for any such thing. I write in part to provide a mental framework for future generations who know something isn't right and need help figuring out exactly what their issue is and what they can do about it.

If I still "love" anyone, it's an old friend who helped a young girl run with the big dogs as an equal and not be ruined by a bunch of guys who might otherwise have treated me like nothing but a piece of ass and instead helped me recover from incest and get my act together.