Trans Advocacy and Cis Misogyny

This is not one of them. This is right up there with that brief period when you were repeatedly accusing me of being transphobic.

That's me talking to someone on Hacker News. Their handle is dragonwriter. 

I appear to be the only openly female member of the leaderboard. That individual is also on the leaderboard.

Odds are good this is a man -- he once backed me up on my claim that I'm the only woman on the leaderboard, which implicitly suggests he's male -- and the way to bet is he was crushing on me without pursuing it.

I can't tell you how aggravating it is how many grown men seem to think pulling a girl's braids like an awkward thirteen year old is the height of flirtatiousness. 

The incidents where he accused me repeatedly of being transphobic were incidents where I was trying to talk about my personal frustrations as a woman with dealing with gender dynamics on Hacker News and/or in life generally.

So speaking to my firsthand experience and from my point of view and trying to figure out how to make my life work as a woman in a man's world got repeatedly and consistently attacked by a prominent member of the forum as transphobic.

I don't even recall why he was characterizing my remarks that way.

I think this kind of garbage is a root cause of the existence of TERFs. No, I'm not defending them. 

I'm also not going to defend the right of the trans community and so-called trans allies to engage in clearly misogynistic behavior in the name of having some moral high ground and cis women doing it wrong when trying to figure out how to advocate for themselves.

The piece linked at the top is called Stupid is as Stupid Does and it's primary point is that this guy was lambasting me as clearly not recovered from sexual assault because I'm a woman speaking on the subject on an overwhelmingly male forum and he thinks that's just extremely sick shit and obviously evidence of mental health issues.

So part of what that post says on one of my blogs that I didn't say to him at the time is:

"So break it down for me Mr. Trans Ally: WHO is allowed to speak to WHOM about recovery from sexual assault as a survivor? If a woman can't talk to MEN, where does that leave your trans buddies? Only MtF trans individuals can speak to MtF trans individuals about sexual assault? Do we need to further segregate by sexual orientation? Only MtF lesbians can speak to MtF lesbians about sexual assault? Do we need to further segregate by gender of the assailant? Only MtF lesbians raped by men can speak to other MtF lesbians raped by men? Do we need to further segregate by skin color? Only WHITE MtF lesbians raped by WHITE men can talk to other WHITE MtF lesbians raped by WHITE men?"

I'm a survivor of sexual assault and was molested for years as a child by a blood relative closely related enough to qualify for the ugly term incest. I've thought a lot about sexual abuse and recovery and the fact that most resources for assault survivors are framed in heteronormative terms and explicitly assume the victim is a woman and the assailant is male.

There is a dearth of male-friendly resources and discussions on the topic trend towards assuming gendered roles as to who is the predator and who is the prey.

That's actively problematic for everyone and it explicitly excludes the trans community in an extreme fashion.

My interactions with Genevieve convinced me that most likely MTF trans individuals are frequently sexually assaulted and sexually harassed by both men and closeted gay women because they read as feminine and people react to that.

If you are AMAB, the existing resources for recovery from sex crimes is bound to be inherently problematic for you. It gives you no means to get what you need.

I don't know what the trans community needs to do to get what it needs, but I don't believe trans individuals or so-called trans allies are doing the trans community any favors by busting the chops of cis women trying to find their way forward in life. I strongly suspect that actively undermines your quest for recognition and support and rights.

Because some of the stuff I've been subjected to by trans individuals and so-called trans allies absolutely makes me understand why TERFs exist.

If you want to insist you are a real woman and you deserve rights while pissing on the lives and rights of cis women, don't be shocked when some of them decide that pursuit of women's rights is a political goal that doesn't include trans women.

Because that's what TERF means: Trans Excluding Radical Feminist.

It's a feminist who wants rights for cis women and isn't including trans women in that pursuit.

That's all that means.

And I was actively shafted because I was a cis woman on an overwhelmingly male forum and MTF trans individuals generally got more support there than I did while everyone stepped over my body in the gutter and said "Not my problem, bitch." while taking it for granted I would do good things for them.

And while men their treated me like nothing but a piece of ass and hoped to marry me while not willing to help me earn a living to get myself off the street. Which doesn't exactly make me feel like taking my clothes off for ANY of them.

Footnote 

I should probably mention here that I do also run an inclusive resource for people negatively impacted by sex crimes.